Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Today's Instance of Myth of Self-Empowerment

 Possibly a series. We'll see. Yet another popular "wisdom nugget" circulating on Facebook, and yet more analysis on why it's problematic given the positions expressed on this blog.

Caption: Words of Wisdom from Jeff Brown
Picture of book text that reads "People-pleasing is a self-protective pattern. If we keep them happy, they won't turn on us. But it comes at a terribly high price. Because in our fixation with keeping others happy, we undermine our own happiness. In our desire to placate others, we deny ourselves. Perhaps it's times for a new way: PLease others, when it truly pleases you.

Problem: Limited power to walk away + myth of self-empowerment

Don't disagree with why the people pleasing is problematic. Missing from the discussion is the fact of dependence on others/systems. We can't go live alone as hermits, so we are forced to interact with others. If we don't placate them, resources and interaction can be denied.

Does not mean to normalize placating. It means to call out people and systems who make asks for their happiness that have an impact of profound unhappiness and pain from others.

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