Sunday, August 13, 2023

Responsibility Hypocrisy 101

 Notes on a common dynamic I see...

Person A harms Person B. Person A says "hey person B, it's your responsibility to manage your reactions!"

Person B harms Person A: Person A says "hey person B, you have a responsibility for how your actions impact others!"

So which is it? Two directly opposing accountability systems being employed, leaving Person A never at fault and Person B always at fault.

What's a better way. I don't know what exactly we owe each other and that's a complex question humans have been trying to answer for over 4,000 years. I do think we can work from the edges (fix the worst systems), and the form of hypocrisy above is something I see employed almost everywhere. Complete shielding of "never my fault, always something or someone else's".

A related variant is the arrogance of "I take on only the fault I decide, using my value system alone and no-one else's". Why their value system alone? Why is their's automatically correct? Doesn't seem like a very just form of conflict resolution. And the common straw-man reply of "so I have no say at all, is that what you're asking of me" is not what's being said here either.

* * *

This article brought to you by the currently unfunded Peer Voices Network.

Please consider donating to support this work. I am disabled, financially struggling, and am forced by existing social structures into producing content like this for free. I hope those with means and privilege will eventually shift priorities toward increased support for lived experience content generation and expertise sharing. Donations are never required and always appreciated.

I am also available for consultation work, curriculum development, trainings, etc.. I enjoy partnering with organizations on development of more accurate understandings of social reality.

I can be reached by email at

* * *

Photo by GDM on Unsplash

No comments:

Post a Comment